Looks Can Be Deceiving! dinnerandafamily.com

Have you ever looked at someone and made a snap judgement? Do you wish people looked at you and could see who you really are?

These are two questions we should discuss with our children. Why not do it at the dinner table?

Recently, we did this TIME (The Intentional Mealtime Experience) activity after dinner:

Earlier in the day Brian made a batch of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (recipe HERE). Unbeknownst to the kids, he added black beans instead of chocolate chips to 3 of the cookies. We put them in a tin and set them aside until after dinner.

After we ate, we opened our Bibles to 1 Samuel 9. I helped our 8 year-old find this passage. The older kids found it on their own.

Note: Everyone has a Bible and we all have the same version (ESV). It’s great practice for kids to find things in their Bibles, so we recommend getting actual Bibles. We do, on occasion, allow the kids to use digital devices, but also believe that knowing where books of the Bible are and being able to write notes and underline in them are very useful skills.

Brian gave a little background information. He said something like this: “Remember that Israel was God’s nation. He loved them and wanted to be their king. But the people wanted a human king like the other countries around them had. So God gave them a king. He gave them Saul. Let’s read how Saul is described.”

Have a child read 1 Samuel 9:2. This talks about Saul’s handsome looks and impressive height.

Then say something like this: “So Saul looked impressive, but he didn’t obey the Lord. And God wanted someone who was obedient. So let’s look at who God chose to lead his people.”

Look up 1 Samuel 16 and read verses 1-13 and discover how God chose David. God looked at David’s heart, not at his outward appearance. It’s interesting that David was handsome, but God did not focus on just that (you’ll be able to see this in the reading).

Talk around the table about this concept. Ask questions like this:

Do you ever make judgements about people because of appearance?

Do others make judgements about you because of your appearance?

What does it mean to you that God sees your heart instead of your outward looks?

Serve the cookies and see if the kids notice the black beans. We had fun with this! The cookies look (somewhat) the same, but looks can be deceiving. Talk about how the black beans look like chocolate chips from a distance, but really are a strange thing to put in a sweet cookie.

Looks Can Be Deceiving! dinnerandafamily.com

We ended up daring the kids to eat the black bean cookies. If they did, they got a small drink from Starbucks. By golly, all three kids took the dare and ate the cookies! But they also enjoyed the chocolate chips ones, too!

Off to Starbucks we go. But at least we will know God is looking at our heart-not our outward appearance.



READING! I just love it so much. My two older kids are great readers, but my youngest is struggling a bit. And that breaks my heart. He has to read. Scratch that…..he has to love to read. Reading has brought me more joy than I can recount. I read every night before bed and that, my friends, has made all the difference. I escape into my book and before I know it, I’m drowsy and ready to nod off. It works every time. I’ll keep reading to my little love and I know I’ll win him over!

So here are three books I’ve read lately. Two I really enjoyed, and one I almost hated. If you are a parent, you have to read my last pick!


Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

I enjoyed this one. Bee, a young girl living in progressive Seattle, is succeeding at her school and the reward for success is her parents’ promise of any gift she wants. She chooses a trip to Antartica. The story is written in a creative sequence of emails, letters, and invoices. As you discover what makes the characters tick, you also learn to love (and hate) them. Bee’s mom, Bernadette, is on the brink of a meltdown and disappears before the trip. Why? How? The backstory unfolds, making sense of the eccentric Bernadette’s actions. The search is on, and though Bee’s dad makes big mistakes, both father and daughter end up showing a fierce love for the woman they both adore. This book kept my interest and was an easy read. There is a little language and an affair – but the language is light and the affair is not described in detail. A good read.


The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katarina Bivald

I deeply disliked this book. Sara, a single and lonely woman from Sweden, travels all the way to small town Iowa to meet her pen pal. When she arrives she finds her friend has died. The characters in the small town take interest in this new visitor and she decides to stay. She lives in Amy’s (the dead pen pal) house and starts a bookstore with all the books Amy has left behind. The town falls in love with Sara and plots to have her stay. There is a love story or two, and in the end everything turns out. Blah, blah, blah. I didn’t buy any of it. The vignettes about the bookstore are so unbelievable and the love the town had for Sara was a farce. How could you love such an underdeveloped character? I couldn’t. Another story line ticked me off: one of the characters is a religious woman who is portrayed as rude, snobby and prudish. She ends up having an affair with a younger bi-sexual man. The book celebrates her actions, portraying that letting loose and loving whomever you please is the answer to a free and happy life. Hogwash! There was one sweet storyline that involved an estranged father and daughter. That was the only part of the book I liked. Thumbs DOWN on this one!


For Parents Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice

Ever wonder what is happening to that sweet kid you brought into this world 13-14 years ago? You still see the glimpses of sweet, but they are accompanied now by a little sassy, a little attitude, and a lot of silence, or wait, maybe it’s yelling. It can be confusing for us parents! This book is based on research and interviews done all around the country with numerous teens. You get a glimpse into the teenage brain and what you see is fascinating. The book looks at teen-age related topics such as the search for freedom, identity, communication, security, and mood swings. As the authors listen to kids talk about these issues, interesting trends happen. Furthermore, we find out how we can handle these important issues. I personally learned how to be a better listener, how to make rules but also allow for more freedom (apparently teens really love freedom), and how to view my kids as unique individuals who may be much different than their dad and me (and realized that is ok!). My favorite quote:

“The teens we surveyed were pretty clear: if you’ll hold on and persevere through these turbulent, wonderful, challenging, infuriating, and highly rewarding years, the results will follow.” (For Parents Only, page 174)

Happy Reading!