For my big 4-0 my sweet daughter gave me this Top Ten List. I was very moved and decided it was worth writing about. I am far from being perfect. Sometimes I wonder how good of a mom I really am. I heard Jan Horner (a friend and colleague from Family Life) say: “There is no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one.” For me, that takes the pressure off. I can strive to be good mom.
#5: I love how hard you try to make me happy.
What she doesn’t know is that her happiness is not my major concern. Seriously. I have her duped.
When something goes wrong for our kids, our first response is to fix it. Our little darlings should have fair, happy, smooth lives, right? Secretly and down deep that is what most of us think.
The teacher doesn’t treat her right? Let’s find a better school.
He doesn’t get a great coach? Let’s switch leagues. Our baby needs the best if he’s going to go pro.
That girl snubbed you? Let’s talk behind her back and put her down. How dare anyone treat you like that?
You don’t feel connected in your youth group? Let’s try that big church down the road that everyone is talking about. We’ll keep looking until you are satisfied, sweetie.
You want Uggs? Everyone is wearing them, and we wouldn’t want you to be left out.
I could go on and on!! What are we doing people?? Do we realize that some of our child’s best lessons could be from going without, or learning to deal with difficult teachers, coaches, or friends? Can God not use any and every situation to teach our kids (and us) to trust Him? My goal is not my children’s happiness. It’s teaching them to know God -the giver of true happiness and trusting Him because He is in control.
I think the reason B. thinks that I try so hard to make her happy is that I do try and have fun with my kids. Master Pastor and I strive to have a house that is full of laughter and joy. We focus on the positive rather than the negative. We try and put a good spin on even the toughest of situations. We know how our kids work and when they are down we try and comfort them with something that speaks to their hearts.
My kids don’t go to the best schools, belong to the winningest teams, have the hippest youth group or hang with the most popular kids. And Lord knows we can’t afford Uggs. And some of the time those facts make my kids sad. While my heart goes out to them for their valid feelings, I know my job is not to make them happy. I focus on pointing them to the only place we can find real satisfaction in life: Jesus and His Word.
You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.